Child Care?

Hi, i have a 4 month old boy and really need to go back to work for money reasons, i only want to work 3-4 days per week, but will need to put him into child care. Does putting such a young baby in child care affect the relationship with your baby because you dont see them as much? I feel really bad and dont want to but we really are struggling financially.

Public Comments

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2. It depends. If you spend quality time with your child when you get home and put your full attention to them, then I do not think it will affect too much. But if you are one of those parents that comes home and is like...I am tired, go play...then yes it will. I have a friend that goes to work at 7 in the am and gets home between 5-6. Once she gets home she complains about being tired, sits on the internet and watches tv. That is all fine and dandy, but wonders why her 2 year old calls her the sitters name instead of mommy. As long as you are involved with the kids at home and do not ignore them, then it should be fine.


3. Of course it does.


4. This is the easiest time to put them in child care. The separation anxiety and stranger anxiety does not start until 8- 12 mos. So your baby won't cry when you leave her. The child will bond with you but also with the caregivers, and this is healthy. The bond that you will hold will be stronger, but it is important that they have a bond with caregivers too because then this makes them feel secure. Good luck, Search for a center that you are really comfortable with!


5. If you have to, then you have too. It won't hurt the baby if you find someone that can take care of him well.

   I'm sorry your faced with this decision.



6. Don't worry, your relationship with your baby will not be affected by putting him in child care. Since you won't be seeing him during the day you will probably spend extra time and effort during the times you DO see him to make sure the time spent is quality time!

   Putting your child into daycare at this age is also good for him in terms of socializing him. It's good for him to be exposed to other people/children so that he grows up with healthy interactions!

   Another benefit to putting him in daycare is that it gives YOU a break. If your baby just hangs out with you 24/7 he will become pretty dependent on you for everything and you'll become something like a security blanket for him. This may make things difficult at times when you need a break and need someone else to watch him or babysit him.

   My cousin tried to put her 18-month old into daycare but by then she was already too attached to mommy and had crazy separation anxiety. She cried all day at the daycare and so they told my cousin she would have to take her out and bring her back when she was older and could handle the separation.

   Don't feel guilty about putting your baby into daycare at this age! It's not as uncommon as you think.

   Anyway, it's not like once you decide on daycare you can't change your mind later.... if you find that you just aren't happy with the arrangement you can take him out and figure out a different solution!

   Good luck!



7. Of course it will effect it. You'll have a very different relationship than if you stay home with him. However, that's not to say it's going to be a negative change. It could be though if you let it. If you know mothers that work and you think they have a good relationship with their child, as what they do to make sure they have excellent quality time with their children and how they work along with the child care facility to ensure consistency. I'd also consider looking into 'in-home' care until he's a year (in your own home).


8. It's always a hard decision to put your child in childcare when they are so little but as long as you have a good responible childcare provider it's easier. Contact your local department of human services and ask to see reports on the places you plan to use. See how many complaints and what they are to help choice a quality childcare center. Also go and visit a center several times during different times to see how it's ran and ask for a tour and even speak to parents if possible. If they don't want to answer all your questions then it's probably not the place for your baby. Also ask friends and family.


9. hi,

   this is fine aslong as you feel ready.

   I am a childminder and currently look after a 3 month old 5 days a week 10am-9pm